Satire or real? “feminismrising” leaves me speechless

Here’s a tumblr that has me stumped.

The content is of such cliché-like feminist stupidity without a single spark of individual thought or even a hint of acknowledgment of the real world, that I have a real hard time to accept the idea that someone might write this for real.

The writing style is reasonably adult, it is not as grammatically and orthographically challenged as you would expect from a mental subatomic particle.

The tone is consistent and the angles are so varied that I judge it to be a brilliant satire on feminist idiocy.

I hope.

A few gems off the first few pages:

Q: If a woman was beating me up, what would I be allowed to do in retaliation without abusing my male privilege?

A: That’s a hypothetical question to such a degree that it doesn’t need answering; it’s men who beat women up, not the other way around.

If you’re being beaten up by a woman seemingly unprovoked, albeit unlikely the case, then in a sense you’re lucky as you’re gaining experience that’s making you better suited to empathize with women as it’s something that afflicts mostly women.

Life is so simple in black and white.

Q: My boyfriend recently asked me if we could have sex. I tried to explain to him that asking me to have sex with him counts as sexual assault, but he couldn’t understand it that piv sex is ONLY okay if I am the one who asks for it. Can you help me try to explain why what he’s doing when he asks for sex is misogynistic?

A: It seems he doesn’t understand sexual harassment to such a degree for all intents and purposes is basically sexual assault.

This is normal; men in general don’t understand even the most basic tactful ways to approach women.

A rule of thumb is that if you can see him, hear him and feel him it’s most definitely sexual assault. Now does that mean that just because you can’t feel him it isn’t sexual assault? No. That’s just something rape culture says. Going by that line of reasoning it wouldn’t be sexual assault if you simply couldn’t feel him as you’d been administered some sort of anesthesia.

So through absurdity reduction we rule out that it’s necessary to feel him. If you can hear him, see him and you feel sexually assaulted then you have been sexually assaulted.

He’s being misogynistic for saying he doesn’t understand. Declarations of boundary are to be followed, not necessarily understood. What he’s saying by replying that he doesn’t understand is that he needs to understand why he shouldn’t violate your boundaries and that’s deeply misogynistic; he wouldn’t need that justification from another man.

I’d go even a step further: to demand that you are able to see him would mean that it would not be sexual assault, if he blindfolded you. In the same vain: If he didn’t say anything or held his hands over your ears, you wouldn’t hear anything, but it would still be sexual assault.

Thereby we can conclude: even if you neither see, hear nor feel him it is still sexual assault when you feel like it.

Q: If a married woman wants to conceive a child by a man who is not her husband, under feminism, is he, the man who is not her husband, under any obligation to impregnate her? Or is he free to choose whether or not he engages in intercourse with her?

A: He’s of course free to exercise what little control he has over himself as she offers herself to him or, as I say, she temporarily tolerates his intimate presence. Though this is in practice basically a hypothetical situation.

Amazing. I thought refusing her sexuality would be an awful case of harassment. Perhaps she relented because of its improbability…

Q: Sometimes when I hit my boyfriend, he hits me back. I’ve tried telling him to to be abusive and he claims he’s ‘defending himself’. What should I do?

A: He’s a man. Call the police immediately, press charges and file a restraining order. Really the only reason to wait a little is if you’re trying to get pregnant. What you’re doing is called empowering. What he’s doing is called domestic violence.

Domestic violence = power + violence

When he does it both elements, power and violence, are present. When you do it neither are really there. You don’t have power in the patriarchy and you can’t really be said to be doing any violence as you’re a member of the oppressed class. Us feminists call it kinetic frustration transfer and it’s not violence. It’s just not the same.

My heart goes out to you sweetheart.

This is the post where my interpretation started to lean towards “satire”.
‘kinetic frustration transfer’ indeed.
I’ll have to remember that 🙂

This is gold.

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3 Comments

  1. Ouch;

    Stockholm Syndrome is baaaaaaaaddddddd Umkay?

    Reply
  2. Er… yes, and strawberry jam is nice.

    Who exactly do you think is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome here?

    Reply
  3. The world is done a great big favor if such persons of the XX gender do not reproduce. Such mentality should hopefully never live beyond being flushed down the toilet. The idea that they and only they have any say over sexual behavior is, as a friend told me, “I have the pussy, therefore I make all the rules.” insane. PLEASE! Women who think this, PULLLEAZE tattoo your foreheads and your lower abdomens with, “I HATE MY PUSSY AND ITS ORGASMS AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR – AND EVERY SENSATION ENGENDERED WITHIN.” It will shrivel any cock that comes within sight and both you and the rest of the world will be better for it. Men who love the feelings engendered within their cocks can find someone else to have fun with, from among the women who loves their pussies.

    Reply

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